


Learning To Love Again

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Angst, First Time, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-14
Updated: 2010-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-03 02:56:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8693680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Jared meets Jensen by way of devious planning of Jensen's sister Mackenzie...Jared wants to see him again, but Jensen pushes him away. Jensen has issues...lots of issues





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

Mackenzie was sitting in the lobby of Headlines salon. Her stylist was running behind, but she didn’t mind. Jared Padalecki was the best stylist in Dallas. He was usually booked up six weeks to two months ahead, so when she called last minute for a hilight and cut, she was thrilled that he had an opening on such short notice.

 

It wasn’t a huge salon, just a good-sized place that was nicely decorated and had top of the line amenities. Jared owned the building and lived in the large apartment upstairs, so his overhead was low on expenses. And being one of the best in a huge town, he could afford the best for his business.

 

Jared appeared around the corner, escorting his last client to the receptionist. "Thank you Mrs. Willis, and I’ll see you in six weeks."

 

He turned his head to Mackenzie. "Hey, sorry I’m running behind," he smiled at her, motioning for her to follow him. He led her to one of the other chairs in the salon, as his assistant was tidying up the one that Mrs. Willis had just vacated.

 

There were four other stylists in the salon who worked for Jared, but most of the time, they too, were busy, and she hadn’t ever spoken with them. 

 

"So, you’re here for hilights?" he asked.

 

"Yeah, I feel dreary and dark. I need brightened up. Just do whatever. I trust you."

 

Jared smiled at her. "I know you do," he said running his hands through her long wavy locks. "I’m thinking all over dark blonde with some pale hilights, that would look really good."

 

"Jared, you know you don’t have to explain it to me, you do what you want."

 

He patted her on the shoulder and excused himself to get the color that he would be needing as the assistant came over to wrap a color cape around her neck. "Hey, Jules."

 

"Hi, how are you Mrs - ?"

 

"Jules, call me Mackenzie. Please. You make me sound old!" Both girls giggled. "Um, I know how close you and Jared are – is he still single? Not seeing anyone."

 

Jules looked back through the salon. "No, he’s not. You know Jared."

 

Mackenzie sighed. "He and my brother would hit it off soooo good, but I can’t convince either one of them to let me set them up on a date. It’s frustrating. I mean, I know that Jensen has issues, but he needs to get back out there. It’s been three years. I don’t think he’s even gotten laid in…"

 

"Who hasn’t gotten laid?" Jared asked appearing almost magically at her side, color bowl in hand.

 

Mackenzie blushed furiously. "Oh – um, nobody!"

 

"Nobody! Well you can’t be talking about me!" he laughed.

 

"You seeing someone, then?" she asked.

 

"No, I’m not. But that doesn’t mean that I’m lonely, either."

 

He parted her hair and started applying the color to her roots first. "Jared, you really should let me introduce you to my brother. You guys would be perfect for each other!"

 

"I know you mean well, but I seriously don’t need to be set up on a blind date. I’m not in a relationship right now because I don’t want to be in one. I don’t have the time to…"

 

"Jared," she said looking at him in the mirror. "I’m not saying that you’re hard up. I just think that you and Jensen would really hit it off. You guys like the same kinds of things – you’re both really good looking and neither one of you is in a relationship. Hell, I don’t think that Jensen has even been on a date in years!"

 

Jared grinned his million-watt smile. "Oh, is he the one who hasn’t been laid in three years?"

 

 

"Please, let me set up a date between the two of you."

 

"No," he said looking flatly at her in the mirror.

 

"Jared?" Jules interrupted. "It’s Thad."

 

"Oh shit! Mac, you mind?" She shook her head. "Hey, did you get them?" Jared said smiling and looking excited, a look which quickly faded. "Damn it! Alright, thanks."

 

"Sorry, Jared!" Jules said taking the phone back from him.

 

"What’s that about?" Mackenzie inquired.

 

"I’m trying to get a ticket to the Spurs/Mavericks game. I didn’t get them the day they went on sale and now I can’t find any. Not even on friggin Ebay!" Jared said morosely.

 

Mackenzie’s mind began to tick. Her boss had season tickets for the Mavericks, but he was going out of town for the weekend. 

 

"Um, can I run to the restroom?" she asked getting up and darting away.

 

"Uh – ok, sure!" he yelled out to her as she slammed the door.

 

Fifteen minutes later, Jared was knocking on the door to the bathroom. "Hey, I don’t mean to rush you, but we’ll have uneven processing if you don’t get out here and let me get the color on the rest of your hair!"

 

Mackenzie opened the door making and made an embarrassed apology. "I was on the phone with my husband."

 

She sat back down in the chair and Jared finished off her hair. "All right, I’m gonna go grab me a bit of my lunch while you're processing, K?" 

 

Mackenzie’s cell rang. "Hey! Is your brother going to use them?" she asked. "He’s not!! Oh my GOD, can I have them, please-please! Oh please say that I can have those tickets!" She listened to the caller a moment and then yelped out a loud happy scream. "Thanks boss! I owe you – big time!!!"

 

Jared peeked his head around the corner. "You ok?" 

 

Mackenzie grinned a very happy and contented smile. "I’m great! Just fanfuckingtastic!" she told him.

 

"Ooook," Jared answered and went back to his lunch. Mackenzie snapped open her phone and text. 

 

what cha doin?

 

Her smile seemed to light up the room. She was very pleased with herself; her matchmaking skills were top notch. Everyone that she had ever introduced had worked out to be a serious couple, and in some cases, they even married. She knew that this was going to work. Her cell vibrated.

 

eating – where r u?

 

'Just out - boss just called. Would you like a courtside seat at the Mavs/Spurs game?'

 

Her phone rang. "Hey big brother!"

 

"Are you fucking with me? Or do you really have tickets?"

 

"I have A ticket. Not plural. Do you want it?"

 

"Uhhh YEAH! And it’s really courtside?"

 

"I’m not kidding you, I really have a ticket, and it’s really courtside. I don’t want it, and David doesn’t like the Mav’s or the Spurs…so I figured who better to give it to than my big brother."

 

"What do you want? There’s a catch, isn’t there?"

 

"NO!! Why would you say that? You know what, screw you buddy! I’m putting it on Ebay!"

 

"Ok, ok – you’re right. I’m sorry. Thank you for thinking about me, and yes – I want the ticket!"

 

"I’m gonna pick it up on my way home. I’ll bring it to you."

 

"Alright. I’m at Mom’s."

 

"You’re always at Mom’s. You need to get a boyfriend and let go of the apron strings."

 

"Bite me. I spend plenty of time at my own apartment, thank you very much. I’m not a Mama’s boy. She cooked beef and noodles."

 

"You better save me some, or I’ll give that ticket to one of the guys I work with!" Jensen laughed and assured her that he’d save her some.

 

~

 

After her hair was done, she went to her boss' house and picked up the tickets, then went back to the salon. She came inside and asked to speak with Jared a moment. The receptionist was horrified, thinking that she was there to complain.

 

Jared came around the corner. "Hey, something wrong?"

 

"No, I just wanted to give you this. I heard you talking to your friend on the phone – I got it from someone I work with, and my husband doesn’t want to go."

 

Jared took the ticket from her hand.

 

"Are you serious?" he asked, looking at her. "Mac – I can’t take this, it’s courtside, you so could sell this for a lot of money."

 

"Jared, why would I sell something when I could give it to someone who I know would appreciate it? I want you to have it. I know how much of a Spurs fan you are."

 

Jared scooped her up in his arms and gave her a tight hug, picking her small frame up off of the floor. "God, thank you! You don’t know what this means to me!!"

 

~

 

Mackenzie walked into her parent's house and found Jensen lying on the couch asleep, covered up with a thick quilt.

 

His mother was sitting on the loveseat reading the paper. "Hey," Donna whispered as she came into the living room. "Did you really get him a ticket to that game?"

 

"Yeah, I really did."

 

"Oh good! I haven’t seen him this excited about something in a long time."

 

Mackenzie sat down by her Mother. "Yeah. I don’t know what to do anymore, ya know?"

 

"He seems to be…"

 

"I just have my eyes closed, I’m not asleep," Jensen said sitting up. "Will you two stop. I’m fine. Ok? You don’t have to worry about me anymore…jeeze. It’s not like I’m gonna go off the deep end again and not get dressed for a month, lose my job, and have to go on medication. Just because I’m not ready to date again doesn’t mean that something is wrong."

 

Mackenzie got up and walked over to sit by her brother. She touched the side of his face. "I don't think that there is something wrong with you, I just want you to get back out there Jenny, you have so much to offer someone. I just want you to be happy."

 

Jensen sighed. "Just because I'm single, Mac, doesn't mean that I'm not happy."

 

"How long has it been since you were on a date? You won't even accept one with someone who I know is nice!"

 

"Every time you go get your hair done, you try to set me up on a date with him. I don't wanna meet your swishy, fag-boy hairdresser, ok?"

 

"Swishy fag? You're a bigot, you know that?"

 

"I don't like Nancy-boys."

 

"He's not a Nancy-boy. He's huge - 6' 4", probably about 170, broad shoulders, and Jared is NOT swishy. He's hot. And he has really big feet and hands, so you know what that means!!" she grinned.

 

"Mackenzie!!" their Mother gasped. "Would you not..."

 

"Oh lighten up Mom, everybody wants a big di.."

 

"Mackenzie!" she yelped again. 

 

Jensen laughed and pulled his little sister in his arms. "Ah, c'mon Mom. You know that you love hearing your children talk about sex! I mean, after all, you're the one who came into my bedroom when I was 15 and got my first boyfriend and you tried to talk to me about sex - gave me condoms and everything!"

 

"I - you two are gonna drive me to an early grave! I don't want to hear about my kids' love lives."

 

"Ma, Jensen had already been doing it by then. Hell, I was fifteen when I lost my virginity, too."

 

Donna stood up and left the room, mumbling something about gray hair and strokes. 

 

"She's funny. But seriously, why won't you date? Let me introduce you to Jared. You'll like him."

 

"Look, Mac. I don't want to date ok? Not yet."

 

"It's been almost three years since all the stuff with Kyle happened." Jensen tensed at the name of his past lover. "I don't know what it feels like to go through that, but I know what it was like to watch you go through it. And I watched you crumble, and I've watched you rebuild your life and get it together again. But now you have to get back out there, Jen. Not everyone is like..."

 

Jensen stood abruptly and walked toward the kitchen. "I'm getting me something to drink."

 

She sighed. Well, he might not listen to reason...but he sure as hell was being set up. He was gonna meet Jared come hell or high water, there was no doubt in that. She just hoped that they would strike up a conversation and actually like each other.

 

tbc...


	2. Chapter 2

Jensen was sporting a Mavericks shirt and was proudly walking into the arena. The Spurs were a good team – but his boys were gonna win tonight, he just knew it.

 

When he got inside, he looked down at his ticket and grinned. Courtside. He headed into the arena and found his seat, second in from the aisle. Awesome!

 

He started up a conversation with the couple on his left, who were Mavericks fans, too, about their good season. He felt someone staring at him, so he turned his head. When he saw the man sitting beside him, his mouth fell slightly open. 

 

Jensen felt his heartbeat thumping in his chest. The guy was gorgeous! Jensen hadn’t been attracted to anyone in years. His eyes lingered over the stranger’s body, and that’s when he saw it. A Spurs jersey! Great. Just great. He had to have the seat next to a Spurs fan.

 

"Hi!" Jared smiled. "I’m Jared," he said thrusting his hand toward Jensen, and invading his personal space.

 

Since his Mama raised him right, he smiled and shook his hand. "Jensen."

 

Jared frowned slightly. Jensen – he thought. I know that name. Jensen – Jensen. Then it hit him. He started chuckling under his breath.

 

"What’s so funny?" Jensen asked almost defensively. 

 

"Nothing. Just a friend of mine – and her deviousness."

 

Jensen raised an eyebrow looking at him as if he were a slight bit off kilter. Jared only smiled a little brighter at him.

 

"God," Jared said, looking into Jensen’s eyes. 

 

"What?" he frowned.

 

 

"Your eyes."

 

"What about them?"

 

"They’re gorgeous. You’re gorgeous." There! Jared thought. Just put it out there – see if he’s interested.

 

Jensen gave him a half smile. He didn’t know what to say to that. He didn’t know what he wanted to say to that. Thank you? I’m glad you like them? Your place or mine? Jensen scoffed out a laugh at his own thoughts.

 

"What?" Jared asked him.

 

"Nothing, I just – I really don’t know how to respond to that."

 

"Sorry, it’s just that I think you’re hot. And I’m the kind of guy that doesn’t hold back, ya know?"

 

Jensen stood. "Excuse me – I’m gonna make a run for a beer." 

 

Jared stood. "Care if I come with? I wouldn’t mind one myself."

 

"Sure," Jensen shrugged motioning for Jared to head on up and he’d follow. As they were climbing the stairs, Jensen couldn’t help but stare at Jared’s ass. It was nice and firm – muscular. He had to will his cock to stand down. He sure as hell wasn’t in the mood to spend the evening at the game with a raging hard on.

 

They made small talk as they stood in line, got their order and headed back to their seats.

 

"So Jensen, what do you do for a living?"

 

Jensen cleared his throat. "I’m a vet."

 

"You are? Where at?"

 

"Northside Veterinary Clinic, over on Fifth St."

 

"That’s where I take my dog, why haven’t I ever seen you there?"

 

"I’ve only been there a month. Dr. Henry just started getting so busy that he needed help, and I wasn’t really happy at the place that I was working before – so I sort of pounced on this job," Jensen smiled. "What do you do?"

 

"I’m a hairstylist."

 

Jensen’s face fell. He was going to kill Mackenzie.

 

Jared started laughing. "Yeah, I wondered if you would figure out that we’ve been set up by your sister – I didn’t want to say anything."

 

Jensen pulled out his phone and sent her a text.

 

u r dead meat

 

A few minutes later, his cell vibrated. He pulled it out and flipped it open.

 

he’s cute, isn’t he?

 

Jensen laughed and closed his phone. Yeah, she was definitely dead.

 

~

 

The game was spent with Jensen and Jared yelling for their own teams, at each other – and the opposing team. 

 

Jensen was having a good time. He hadn’t been to a game in years, and he was enjoying Jared’s company, even though he was a Spurs fan.

 

With less than four seconds on the clock, the Mavericks were winning by two. The Spurs' Tim Duncan had the ball and went for a three pointer. The ball was in the air as the buzzer sounded. It hit the rim, circled once fully around the basket and tumbled over the side. He’d missed.

 

Jensen whooped out a yell and high-fived the couple next to him. "Yeah!!!" he shouted, flopping down in the chair beside Jared. He looked over. "Sorry your team lost man," he grinned.

 

Jared laughed. "No you're not! Don’t lie!"

 

"Yeah, ok. I’m totally not sorry. That was a great game!"

 

"Yeah, it was," Jared nodded. "Hey, um – would you like to go grab a drink somewhere?"

 

Jensen tensed immediately. 

 

"Whoa man, just a drink – I’m not asking you to move in with me or anything," Jared said holding up his hands.

 

"Look Jared. I’ve – I’m not…thanks, but I’m gonna pass."

 

Jared looked taken aback. "Pass? Why?"

 

Jensen stood up and made to walk past him. Jared reached out and placed his hand on Jensen’s shoulder. "Come on man, I had a good time with you tonight. What will getting a drink hurt?"

 

Jensen sighed. "Yeah, alright."

 

Jared smiled. "Cool. How about Terry’s? Nice place – not dead, but not too busy? You wanna meet up there?"

 

"Yeah – see you there," Jensen said walking around Jared and climbing the stairs two at a time.

 

When he got in his car and turned the ignition, he closed his eyes, trying to decide what he was going to do. Was he going to head home and forget about those dimples, that bright smile, that six foot four inches of lean, hard body that was making him sweat…or was he going to take that step – that one step that he swore he’d never take again as long as he lived?

 

He opened his eyes and looked out across the emptying parking lot and put the car into drive. 

 

He did the only thing that he could do. Protect himself. He turned the car around and headed out the south gate – in the opposite direction of Terry’s bar.

 

 

tbc…


	3. Chapter 3

Three days had passed and Jensen really was feeling guilty about standing Jared up for drinks after the game, but in the same instance, he knew that it was the right decision for him.

 

He walked down the hallway of the clinic and picked up the clipboard hanging on the door for his next four-legged patient. He sniggered at the name on the file. "Padalecki" – what a fucking name.

 

He knocked on the door and pulled it open. He looked up from the clipboard and into Jared’s eyes. 

 

"Jared! What – what are you doing here?" he asked surprised.

 

"I – uh – I just went to the pound and got a new dog. I’m here to have her checked over. The receptionist said that Dr. Henry couldn’t see her today, but that you had a cancellation, so I snatched it up."

 

There was an uncomfortable silence in the air. Jensen cleared his throat. "Right, um – this is Sadie?"

 

Jared nodded. "Yeah. The lady at the pound said she’s a Sheppard-Dingo mix. That they found her tied up outside of the place one day last week."

 

Jensen shook his head. "What’s wrong with people?" he mumbled as he leaned down to scratch her head. "All right, let’s get her on the table."

 

Jared leaned down and picked her up and set her on the examining table, and Jensen went to work, giving her a thorough exam.

 

"So, why’d you ditch me the other night?" Jared asked.

 

Jensen’s head snapped up, and he had decency to look guilty. "Yeah, sorry about that."

 

"So, just sorry. You’re not gonna tell me why?"

 

"Jared, it’s not personal. I’m just not interested." Ok, Jensen thought, that was a bit harsher than I intended.

 

"Not personal? Sorta sounds that way. I mean if you’re not attracted to me, then why’d you accept in the first place?"

 

"I’m attracted," Jensen blurted out before he realized what he’d said. "I just – I can’t. I’m sorry."

 

Jared frowned. "I don’t understand. If you’re attracted to me, and I’m obviously attracted to you or I wouldn’t have asked you out, then why won’t you go out with me?"

 

Jensen’s head snapped over to look at him, his eyes dark with anger and fear, from what Jared could tell. "Look, I said no! Back off, all right?"

 

"Sorry," Jared said, his tone disappointed.

 

"Well, Sadie here has a clean bill of health. I’ll get her some heartworm pills and you really should start her on Advantage or something similar to keep fleas off of her."

 

"I use that on Harley, so that’s fine," Jared said, almost coldly.

 

Jensen left the office and went into the back to get the medications. He was standing and staring into the cabinet when Hayley, a vet tech, came up behind him. "You alright?"

 

Jensen jumped. "What?"

 

"Are you alright?"

 

"Uh, yeah," he said pulling down the things he needed for Jared. "Would you run this into room 4 and escort him up to the desk?"

 

Hayley frowned slightly at him, but took the meds and headed to the room. Jensen knew he was being a coward, but he just couldn’t go back in there. He couldn’t.

 

~*~

 

 

"I don’t know what to do," Jared sighed - his words slightly slurred from all the beers he'd had. Jared's feet smacked down hard as he put his feet up on his coffee table and scratched behind Sadie’s ear. "He’s just so – frustrating, and aggravating, and completely under my skin!" he growled out.

 

"Dude, you just need to find out where he lives and go over to his house and just fuck him already!" Jared’s friend Chad piped up, bringing his beer bottle to his lips. "I mean, you don’t do relationships, remember?"

 

"I’d do a relationship with the right person you ass hat, I’ve just not found anyone that I was interested in like that."

 

"Till now?" Chad asked.

 

"Till now."

 

"Then go get him."

 

"He’s "not interested", remember?" Jared snarled as he air quoted "not interested".

 

"Have you talked to that hot chick? Whatshername?" he said as he snapped his fingers. "The chick with all the hair and the nice rack."

 

"Uhhh, a little more specific, you retard. I have a lot of clients and friends that have a lot of hair and nice racks."

 

Chad frowned. "You look at racks? Are you bi now? I thought it was strictly dickly for you."

 

"Fuck off, I see tits – and so what if I think that a rack is pretty, that doesn’t mean I wanna stick my face in them."

 

"Whatever," Chad waves as he tossed back his beer and drained the bottle. He belched loudly and set the bottle on the coffee table and stood, heading for the kitchen for another beer. "Need another?"

 

"Yeah, and Mayhem?"

 

Chad grinned at his nickname that got stuck on him in high school, that only Jared still called him. "What?"

 

"You’re going into the kitchen, right?"

 

Chad turned and looked at him like he’d suddenly grown three extra heads. "Yeah fuck ass, that’s where the fridge is."

 

"Take your fucking empty beer bottle and throw it in the trash. It’s that container in the corner of the kitchen with the big white bag in it."

 

Chad walked back to the table and picked up his empty bottle, flipping Jared off for good measure.

 

When he came back into the room, handing Jared his beer, Chad said, "I was talking about his sister – the one that set y’all up in the first place, have you talked to her? Maybe she can tell you why he don’t wanna go out with you."

 

"Don’t know her number off the top of my head. I mean, we’ve hung out a few times…but – "

 

"So go downstairs and get her number out of your thingie…where you keep track of their color and shit. Oh and dude? Speaking of hair, I need mine cut."

 

Jared was standing at the doorway that led down the stairs to the back room of the salon and turned around. "Do you really want me to cut your hair when I’ve had nine beers and a bunch of tequila shooters?"

 

"Sure, why not?" Chad said, walking behind Jared as he started down the stairs.

 

"Don’t bitch at me tomorrow when your hair is all fucked up, dude."

 

~

 

Jared woke to incessant pounding on his bedroom door. "WHAT?" he yelled and then grasped his head. "Fucking hangover," he growled, getting out of bed. He walked over to the door and yanked it open, and the sight that met his eyes almost brought him to his knees.

 

Chad was sporting a very bright pink mohawk. His head was almost bald, except for a one inch strip of hair down the center that was pepto bismol pink.

 

"You're a dead man, Padalecki, you know that, right? And I don't mean that you're getting-your-ass-kicked sorta dead," Chad said, taking a step forward. "I mean, laying-on-the-ground-bleeding-to-death dead."

 

Jared raised his hands, palms facing Chad. "Dude, I warned you a long time ago, never, and I mean NEVER ask me to do your hair when I'm drunk. It's your fault!"

 

"Downstairs, right the fuck now to cut this shit off. And you better hope this fucking color comes out, because if there's a pink skunk stripe down the center of my head - I'll still kill your ass!"

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

Jensen's cell vibrated in his pocket for what must have been the tenth time today. He sighed and pulled it out and looked at the screen. Mackenzie. Again.

 

"What? I'm working!" he said slightly preturbed.

 

"Guess what?" she said, the grin on her face evident.

 

"What?"

 

"I'm pregnant."

 

Jensen smiled a huge smile. "WHAT?" he yelped into the phone, everyone in the office jumping at his loud voice. "Oh my God Kenz, that's awesome! You tell Mom yet?"

 

"No, she's not home and must have left her cell off or at the house."

 

"Sorry I didn't answer earlier. I thought you were gonna dog me about Jared."

 

"I am. Why won't you go out with him? He likes you. You like him. He told me how much fun you guys had at the game. Come on Jens - go out with him."

 

"Why are you so insistant on me dating? I mean - you wanna watch or something?"

 

"Ewwww! You - GOD! I can't believe you just said that! Gross, Jen! I'm telling Mom!"

 

Jensen laughed into the phone. "Look, sorry ok? Kenz, I'm just not up for it. I'm not interested."

 

"Yeah, you are. You like him. I can tell."

 

"You can? How?"

 

"You have that sound in your voice. That lovesick -"

 

"Whatever. Look, I have to go. The office is jammed packed today. I'll call you later."

 

Mackenzie sighed. "Alright. Love you bro!"

 

"Love you, and I'm really excited about the baby!" he smiled.

 

Jensen closed his cell and headed down the hallway. "Jensen?" Hayley said from behind him.

 

"Yeah?" he said turning around.

 

"Can you come to the desk?" she grinned.

 

Jensen frowned slightly, but followed her. When he stepped around the corner, the sight that was before him made his stomach slightly flutter and his face go deep red. Flowers. Someone - no, Jared - had sent him flowers. It was the largest arrangement of deep scarlet red roses that he'd ever seen. There must have been three or four dozen in the monster vase. "Looks like you have an admirer," Hayley grinned up at him. "There something you're not telling us Dr.??" 

 

"Shut up," he quietly groaned as he took the vase off of the desk and headed back into his office, kicking the door closed with his foot. He sighed and pulled the card out and opened it.

 

Jen,

 

Carrabbas. Tonight. 7:30. Don't stand me up this time.

 

Jared

 

Jensen chuckled slightly. "Persistant fucker." He looked at the vase of flowers and sighed. He wanted to go. He really really wanted to go, but could he take that step? Could he actually go on a date with Jared? He didn't know the answer to that question. But when he got home tonight, he'd shower and change into some dress slacks and a nice button down and just go from there.

 

~*~

 

 

"Hello?" Mackenzie said into her phone.

 

"Hey, it's Jared."

 

"HI! Did you ask him out again?" she grinned.

 

"Yeah, I did. I'll see if he shows up this time."

 

"You asked him out on a date and aren't gonna go pick him up?"

 

"No. I asked him to meet me at Carrabbas. I didn't want to push too hard by saying I'd pick him up."

 

"Did he say yes?" Mackenzie asked hopefully.

 

"I didn't exactly ask him. I sent him roses to work and put it on the card."

 

"Awwwww! That's so...so romantic!"

 

"Shut up!" Jared blushed. "I'm not being romantic. I'm not the romantic type."

 

Mackenzie giggled. 

 

"What?"

 

"You sent him roses, and you're not romantic?"

 

"Shut up!" Jared laughed. "I just wanted you to know I did ask him out again. Let's just hope he shows this time."

 

"Yeah, I hope he does, too." Mackenzie sat in silence, cleared her throat. "Um, Jared, can I ask you something?"

 

"Yeah, what?"

 

"Are you interested in Jensen?"

 

"I would think that was obvious, I keep asking him out."

 

"No, I mean - really interested. Not just a one night stand?"

 

"Look, he's cute. And we had a good time at the game. I'd like to get to know him better. If we end up friends, that would be fine. If something else happens, that'd be great. But I...he seems so distant and sooo not interested. But would I like to start seeing him, yeah, I would. I like him. I'm not just trying to get in his pants."

 

"Good."

 

"Mac, what's wrong with him? I mean, why is he so afraid of me?"

 

 

"Jared, I can't answer that. I'm sorry. It's not my place to tell you."

 

Jared sighed into the phone. "Alright. I'll let you know if he shows up."

 

"K, talk to you later."

 

"Bye," Jared smiled.

 

"Bye."

 

tbc


	4. Chapter 4

Jensen sat in his car outside of Carrabbas, looking at the doors. He'd watched Jared walk in ten minutes ago. _Just reach down and grab the handle and pull, get out and walk to the doors, he thought. Just do it!_

 

Jensen opened the car door and got out. He had to force himself to walk toward the restaurant. But step after step, he did it. He surprised himself when he reached out and pulled the door to the place open and walked inside.

 

"Hi, welcome to Carrabbas, how many?"

 

"Um, I'm meeting someone here," Jensen told the tiny blonde who was standing before him.

 

"Oh, do you see her?"

 

Jensen smiled as he looked across the restaurant, spotting Jared, who had a huge smile on his face. "Yeah, I see him," he told her as he headed to the table.

 

"You came," Jared grinned as he stood. "I'm glad."

 

"Yeah," Jensen answered uncomfortably, pulling out the chair across from Jared and sitting down.

 

A waiter appeared at the table and handed them both a menu and asked them if they needed help with it.

 

"No, we'll just need a few minutes to go over it, thanks," Jared said.

 

~

 

They talked rather easily. Jared was happy to see Jensen so - well - happy. He seemed like he truly was having a good time. They ended up talking until the restaurant closed, both looking embarrassed when the waiter told them that they had to close up for the night and had collected the money for the bill.

 

Jared walked Jensen to his car. "I had a really good time with you tonight."

 

Jensen smiled. "I uh, I had a good time, too."

 

Jared stepped closer and placed his hand under Jensen's chin, tilting his head up. He leaned down and captured his mouth. The kiss was slow and intense. When their tongues met, Jared swore he could hear Pavarotti in his head. Jensen suddenly pulled away and wiped his mouth. "I'm sorry...I can't...God Jared, I'm so sorry!!" 

 

Jensen sounded broken. Jared reached for him, but Jensen jumped away as if his touch would burn. He opened the door to his car, slamming it behind him and speeding off, leaving a very hurt and confused Jared standing in an almost deserted parking lot.

 

~*~

 

Jensen pounded on his sister's door furiously. He could feel his heart pounding, the terror rising. A panic attack. He was about to have a panic attack.

 

David opened the door. "Jensen," he said sleepily, "you ok?"

 

Jensen stood there, his chest heaving. "N-no," he gasped.

 

Mackenzie rushed down the stairs and passed her husband. "Jen! Come in..." she said dragging him inside. "What happened?"

 

Jensen wrapped his arms around her, burying his face into her neck as his body started to shake. Mackenzie started to rock slightly, her hand slowly rubbing up and down Jensen's back.

 

"Shhh, calm down. It's gonna be ok. Whatever it is, it's gonna be ok." They stood there a moment. "Do you want me to call Mom?" she asked. Jensen shook his head. "Ok, I won't."

 

Jensen gasped - his panic attack coming on full force. He pushed Mackenzie from him and went to the sofa, sat down and bent over, putting his head between his knees.

 

"I'll go put on some coffee," David told her as he walked past them, heading to the kitchen.

 

Mackenzie knew what was happening to him. She'd seen it many times before. Depending on how bad, she could touch him. Most of the time, he would pull away, not wanting anyone near him until it passed. She cautiously sat down and touched him.

 

"Don...don't touch me!!"

 

"Ok," she said lovingly. "I won't. Just breathe slowly. Nice deep breaths Jen."

 

Jensen nodded as his body started to rock slightly. 

 

Mackenzie just talked to him calmly as his body started to relax and his breath slowed. David had returned and put to mugs of coffee down and headed back to bed.

 

~

 

Jensen was sitting on the sofa sideways, facing Mackenzie; she was sitting the same way facing him. 

 

"Sorry to drag you out of bed so late, I know you have to work tomorrow."

 

"No, I don't. I quit. David insisted. It was always the plan that I would stay home as soon as I had a baby, so he told me to go ahead and quit now. So I did."

 

"Oh."

 

"What happened?"

 

"I went out with Jared tonight."

 

"Uh-huh. I know y'all had a date. Something bad happen?"

 

"We had a good time...but he walked me to the car and he...he kissed me. God, it was good. I liked it. I liked him kissing me, but I don't know. I freaked out. All those memories came sweeping in and I just - "

 

"Jenny, he's not Kyle. You know that. What happened with Kyle was awful, and it shouldn't have happened. It's not fair that it did, and that it screwed up your life for so long. But you can't keep carrying that with you. You're gonna have to let it go sometime, Jen. Carrying all that pain and rage over what happened, it's gonna kill you if you don't let it go."

 

"I've tried, Kenz. Do you honestly think that I want to feel like this, that I want to be like this?" Jensen sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face. "I'm scared. I'm so scared that I can't see straight."

 

"You need to talk to Jared. Tell him what happened to you."

 

"We barely know each other, Mackenzie. Telling him all that shit will probably make him run away from me screaming."

 

"No, it won't. He likes you, Jen. Why do you think he's still around?"

 

Jensen sighed and looked down. "I don't know what to do. I like him, but I couldn't survive if I - what if I turn into Kyle?"

 

"You can't live your life in fear Jensen, that's not living."

 

"I know."

 

~

 

Jensen opened the door. "Thanks for coming."

 

"Yeah, sure," Jared said uncomfortably as he walked into Mackenzie's house.

 

"Have a seat. You want some coffee, a beer?"

 

"A beer would be good."

 

Jensen nodded and went into the kitchen, returning with two beers. "I'm sorry that I freaked out on you and tore out of the parking lot like a lunatic earlier."

 

"It's ok. Don't worry about it."

 

"I want to tell you some things, Jared. But first, I need you to understand that it's not you. It's me, things that I need to work on about myself, ok?"

 

Jared nodded.

 

"I was in this relationship with a guy. His name was Kyle. We met about five years ago...I fell fast and hard for him. He was amazing. He was perfect in every way, ya know? We got along so well, and were so much alike that it was just unbelievable. After a year, we bought a house together. Everything was awesome, until one night, he'd had a little too much to drink after a really shitty day at work, and he - uh, he hit me. I was too stunned to do anything. I just couldn't believe that he did it. He immediately apologized and swore that he'd never do it again...so I let it go."

 

"Yeah," Jared said.

 

"Then it happened a second time, and again, I let it go. But the third time, I hit him back. Life pretty much went downhill after that. We'd argue, he'd hit me; I'd defend myself and hit him back. Our relationship was beyond abusive."

 

Jensen sucked in a deep breath and sighed, continuing. "Then one night, I came home from an evening out with some friends. I was pretty fucked up. Kyle didn't like it that I was drunk and had gone out without him. We fought, and he ended up kicking me in the stomach, sending me through the patio door. I had over three hundred stitches in my back, ass, legs, arms and head. A particularly large piece of glass went through my back and pierced my lung. I came pretty close to dying because I got an infection in several of the wounds."

 

"Jesus Christ," Jared said, scooting a little closer and taking Jensen's hand in his own. "I can't imagine how you felt."

 

Jensen gave a slight laugh. "Yeah, well - it really fucked me up, ya know?"

 

Jared nodded and gave his hand a squeeze.

 

"I was in the hospital for three weeks, and the day I got out, my parents drove me to the house to get my things. When we got there, Kyle apologized and swore that he would get help and that it wouldn't happen again. But I knew that it was an empty promise, he'd said all that crap before. So I told him no and packed my clothes. My Mom took my suitcases out to the car, and I told Kyle that he could keep the house, that I didn't want it, but that after I was healed - I would be back for the rest of my stuff. He told me that if I left him that he would kill himself." Jensen scoffed. "You know what I said to him?"

 

"What?"

 

"I told him that he wasn't any of my concern anymore. The next day, the police called and told me that Kyle's mother had gone to the house and found him dead. He had shot himself in the head."

 

"God Jen, I'm - I'm sorry, that must have been horrible."

 

"Yeah, it was. I ended up living with my parents. It was bad for a long time, Jared. I couldn't function. I loved him. I mean I really loved him – but to have someone betray me like that, you know? All the fights, him throwing me through a patio door, and then when he killed himself, it was just more than I could take. I couldn't get out of bed, I wouldn't eat. I lost my job, my friends, everything. My Mom finally managed to get me out of bed and my Dad shoved me in the shower into a shower threatening to wash me himself if I didn’t do it...and then they took me to a doctor. It took a long time for me to get my shit together, but I did it. And now, here I am. With you. A man who is so unbelievably under my skin that I can't see straight, and I'm scared. I'm afraid to let myself feel anything for you."

 

Jared reached out and cupped the side of his face. "I like you too, Jensen. I want to get to know you better. I'm not him."

 

"I know that, it's just hard for me to trust someone. It's hard to put myself out there like that. And..."

 

"And what?" Jared asked.

 

"What if I get into this with you and I end up being like him? What if I hit you?"

 

"You won't. I really believe that."

 

"I'm scared, Jared. I don't trust myself, let alone someone else on top of it."

 

"I understand. I can't imagine what that felt like, to love someone and have them crush and destroy you. I've, uh - I've never been in love before. But I know that it had to hurt, that it had to be painful."

 

"It almost killed me," Jensen said. "I've only been in two relationships in my life. My first boyfriend while I was in high school. He was my first everything. Kiss, lover, the first person I ever told that I loved them. We were together for a long time. He was a year older than me and went off to college and you know, things happen, people change - he cheated on me. Then I met Kyle, another shitty experience."

 

"I'm sorry. Love shouldn't hurt like that."

 

"No, it shouldn't." They sat quietly for several minutes, and then Jensen asked. "Jared...are you, would you...I don't want to be alone tonight. I mean, I’m staying here and Mackenzie is just a door down, but it’s not the same…"

 

"You want me to stay?" he slightly smiled.

 

"Yeah, but not to...I don't mean for us to..."

 

"I get it, Jensen. You mean to just sleep. Not sex."

 

"Yeah," Jensen blushed. "I don't sleep around. I have to care about someone."

 

"It's alright. Sleeping I can do," Jared said, standing and pulling Jensen up to his feet. "Let's go to bed."

 

~

 

Once they were upstairs, Jensen unbuttoned his jeans as he toed off his shoes. Jared was already sitting on the bed, shirtless and pant less. Jensen turned bright red as he pulled off his jeans and threw them on the chair by the bed. 

 

"Sorry, I'm not real good at the practically naked in front of people thing."

 

Jared laughed. "You have no reason to be modest. You have a nice body."

 

Jensen turned even redder as he slipped between the sheets. Jared walked over and flipped the light switch, got into bed and spooned up against Jensen's back, his arm coming around his waist. He pressed his lips into Jensen's neck, “This ok?”

 

Jensen nodded and scooted back into Jared’s warmth.

 

"Goodnight Jensen," he whispered.

 

"Night Jay."

 

Jared smiled and tightened his hold on him and closed his eyes, letting the sound of Jensen's breathing soothe and calm him like a whispered lullaby.

 

 

tbc...


	5. Chapter 5

Jared felt something moving against his body…pulling him out of sleep. He opened his heavy eyes and focused on his surroundings. He became aware of the body behind him, pressing against him, the heavy breathing right in his ear.

 

“Jensen?” he said, his voice heavy-laden with sleep.

 

When he didn’t answer, Jared turned his head slightly. Jensen was asleep, and obviously having one hell of a dream. Jared chuckled when he felt Jensen’s erection hard against his ass, moving quickly against him.

 

“Jensen,” he said again. Jared knew that if he didn’t wake him and Jensen continued this, and came against his body, he’d be mortified. 

 

But still, he didn’t answer. Jensen’s arm came around Jared’s waist and grasped him tight. 

“Jared,” he moaned in his ear. His thrusts sped up. Jared slid his hand down Jensen’s arm and he gave his hand a light squeeze.

 

“Jensen, wake up.”

 

Jensen’s eyes snapped open. 

“Oh God,” he gasped. 

Jared had expected him to freak out, but the next thing he knew, Jensen had grabbed his underwear and pulled the back down, just past his ass cheeks. 

“God Jared…need to – uhhh…” he moaned again as his hard cock slid against Jared's crease.

 

Jared turned his head and captured Jensen’s lips. Jensen pushed his own underwear down enough to pull his cock out, and he slid his dick between Jared’s cheeks. 

"Oh God….nuhhhh!” 

 

Jared pulled his leg against his chest, holding himself open by hooking his arm in the bend of his knee. Jensen spit in his hand and grasped his cock, sliding his dick inside Jared’s tight hole. 

“Oh fuck,” he groaned into Jared’s neck. Jared released his leg and stretched it back around and behind Jensen's.

 

“Nuuuuhh, not gonna la – last,” Jensen moaned as his hand slid around the front of Jared’s body, his hand coming to rest at the inside of Jared’s thigh, just beside his balls. “Oh God,” Jensen moaned again as he slid his hand up Jared’s body and reached into his underwear, wrapping his fingers around his huge, stiff dick. He swiped his thumb across the head, gathering the pre-cum beading there.

 

“God Jen…so big. So good in me - fuck me baby…” Jared panted as Jensen’s cock slid in and out of his tight hole. “Fuck me hard…”

 

Jensen pulled back and slammed into him, sliding his hand up and down Jared’s cock, faster and faster, bringing him closer to orgasm.

 

On his next push/pull, he rotated his hips, causing Jared to arch back, his eyes rolling back in his head. Jensen kept this angle…knowing he’d found the spot.

 

Two more thrusts and Jensen shot his load, gasping and moaning Jared’s name. His hand never faltered on Jared’s cock. He kept pumping and pumping him until his orgasm crested and he spilled his cream over Jensen’s hand.

 

Jensen’s breathing started to slow, and he pulled his cock out, cum dribbling from Jared’s wide open fucked-out hole.

 

“God…Jared, I’m so sorry,” Jensen said, turning away and sitting up, his back to Jared.

 

Jared rolled over, scooting up behind him, spooning against his body, his knees on the bed around Jensen’s hips.

“For what?”

 

“For…this, I mean after what I told you last night…that I didn't want sex...and then I...”

 

“Hey, it’s ok. Don’t worry about it. I liked it. I’ve been wanting you since I saw you the first time,” he said as his arms wrapped around Jensen’s chest. “I wanted it. Don’t apologize, and don’t feel bad. Ok?”

 

Jensen laughed. “Yeah, I’ll try.”

 

The bedroom door opened and Mackenzie walked in.

“Jensen,” she said, not really looking at him. 

Jensen grabbed the sheet and pulled it around his middle just as Mackenzie looked up - his dick was still sticking out of his underwear. Her face fell, her mouth agape. 

“I’m…shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t think that y’all would be…I wasn’t – fuck. I’m gonna go. Breakfast is ready if you’re hungry!” she said, very red-faced, as she left the room.

Jared chuckled. "I think we may have actually embarrassed her."

"Yeah, looks like," Jensen said, quietly tucking himself back into his boxers. 

Jared leaned against his back, his lips pressing against his neck. 

"We're fine Jensen. It was good. I told you, I wanted it, and I'm glad we did it...so stop worrying."

"I can't help it, Jared. It scares me. I don't want to become him. I can't trust myself that if I get pissed about something that I won't lash out and hit."

"In this relationship with Kyle, did you ever initiate the abuse? Or was it defensive?"

"No, I never hit him first. But that really doesn' t matter Jared - I was still abusive. I won't go back to being that person, Jared. I won't."

"What makes you think that you will? You don't know that, alright?"

Jensen nodded. Jared reached around and pulled his face to him, kissing him deeply. Jared pulled him down on the bed and straddled his body, leaning down to capture his mouth. 

"Love how you taste Jensen, your mouth is so sweet," he whispered as he slid lower. "Gonna taste all of you."

Jensen slid his hands in Jared's hair. "Jared...we can't - I'm not..."

"Shhhh," Jared whispered against the tight line of his abs as he pushed his underwear down his thighs. Jensen's cock had gone from half-mast to fully hard in ten seconds. Jared sucked the head into his mouth, his tongue lingering over the slit.

"Oh shit Jared...hmmmm," Jensen moaned as he lifted his hips. "Oh God...so good...teeth, like teeth lightly on...OH GOD!" Jensen shouted as Jared grazed his teeth gently along his hard shaft.

Jensen pressed his head back into the pillow, biting his bottom lip as he continued to stroke his hands through Jared’s hair. “So good…” he moaned. 

Jared pulled off his cock and thoroughly wet two of his fingers with his tongue and sucked him back down to the base and slid a finger inside Jensen’s ass.

His body immediately tensed and he sucked in a sharp breath. Jared lifted his head. “S’ok…” he said as he lovingly stroked Jensen's stomach. “Just relax…I know it’s been a while, just let me take care of you.” 

Jared went back to sucking lightly on the head of his cock, his tongue swiping under the crown as he started to slowly piston his finger in and out of Jensen's tense and tight hole. When Jared buried his finger completely inside him and crooked his finger, brushing against his prostate, Jensen arched off of the bed, moaning loudly, a splash of come flooding Jared’s mouth. He sucked him down harder, hollowing his cheeks – sliding his tongue across the slit on the upstrokes, and along the thick vein on the down’s.

“Oh holy fuck, Jared…” Jensen yelled out when he thrust two fingers inside him and pulled him apart, then pressed on the bundle of nerves again. He let Jensen’s dick fall from his mouth and slid up his body and pushed his legs up high against his chest. “S’ok?” he asked before he attempted anything. 

Jensen nodded, and Jared got to his knees and pressed inside his body. Jensen’s eyes tightened at the intrusion and moved one of his legs and dug down on the bed with his heel. He sucked in a sharp breath causing Jared to pause mid thrust. “Am I hurting you?”

“Just…slower. I’ve never – never bottomed before,” he gasped slightly.

“Shit Jensen, you shoulda told me,” Jared said pulling back. 

 

”I’m ok – just go slow.”

Jared inched inside his body as his hand worked Jensen’s softening dick back into hardness. Once he was fully sheathed inside him, he stretched out on top of him and began kissing him. He started with slow small thrusts, barely pulling out at all before sliding back into Jensen's wet heat.

“Move,” Jensen said breathily, “faster.”

So Jared started thrusting more and more. It didn’t take long for both men to be huffing and moaning, the headboard smacking the wall every other thrust, and Jensen was a loud lover. He wasn’t overly loud when he was fucking Jared, but apparently he really was enjoying being on the receiving end than on the giving end a lot more.

“Hu-hu-uhhhhhh,” Jared panted as he grabbed Jensen’s legs around the knees and pushed them back against his chest as he got to his own knees again. He slammed in and out of Jensen’s stretched, red entrance with such force and passion that his own moans were turning almost to shouts.

Jared's balls smacked loudly against his ass as Jensen snaked his hand between his legs and started to stroke his dick.

“Come..coming – “ he panted as Jared slammed harder and harder into him.

With one hard, final thrust, Jared shouted out a loud moan and pumped is load inside Jensen’s body. Jensen could feel his cock pulsing inside his ass and the sensation tossed him into the most intense orgasm he’d ever experienced.

Jared fell forward against his lover’s body, both breathing hard – gasping for air. “You ok?” Jared asked.

“Mmm-hm, tired though.”

“Was it ok?” he asked as he reached between them and pulled his flaccid cock out of Jensen's ass.

“Yeah…it was awesome. I like it on the…I liked it,” Jensen said almost blushing.

“I didn’t hurt you?”

“No…it was good, all good,” he said kissing him quickly.

Jared rolled off to the side of his body. “I can’t believe you’d never had anyone make love to you.”

“I’ve made love plenty of times, Jared. Just never bottomed before. Kyle didn’t like to top, so he never would let me bottom ..and with my first boyfriend – I honestly didn’t want to.”

“Why?”

“Scared I guess, you know – that it would hurt.”

Jared chuckled and rolled over onto his side, “I really like you, Jensen Ackles.”

Jensen smiled. “I like you too, Jared.”

“We gonna try dating some more?”

“Can you handle me and all my baggage? I’ve got a lot.”

“Yeah, just don’t push me away anymore – ok?”

“I don’t want to Jared, and I’ll promise that I’ll try – that good enough?”

Jared lifted up and kissed him, then tucked his head under Jensen’s chin, closing his eyes. “Good ‘nough…for now.”

 

tbc…


	6. Chapter 6

Jared walked into Mackenzie’s kitchen, wet towel around his neck. She was standing at the counter, making herself a sandwich.

 

“Hey,” he said, trying not to scare her.

 

“Hey,” she said, smiling and turning around. “Where’s Jensen?” 

 

“Still asleep.”

 

“I guess so…from the sounds coming down those stairs, I think you wore him out,” she said grinning.

 

Jared blushed. “Yeah – I could use a few more hours myself.”

 

“Jared, did he tell you about…about Kyle?”

 

“Yeah, he did,” Jared said reaching for the coffee pot. “I’m glad he told me.”

 

“He’s so scared of becoming him. But I know he’s attracted to you, that he likes you. And it’s just making him that much more frightened.”

 

“Well, we talked after this morning we’re gonna give us a go. At least I hope so.”

 

“Me too, I think that you’ll be good for him.”

 

“Well, we still have some things to work out – like this morning – when we…”

 

“The first time you did it today?” she smirked.

 

Jared laughed. “Yeah – he sorta flipped out about it.”

 

“You didn’t do it last night?”

 

“No, he asked me to stay with him. He didn’t want to be alone. Pretty adamant on the no sex thing, too. So we only slept.”

 

“And you just attacked him this morning?” she asked, laughing.

 

“No, he actually made the move, thank you, and we can stop talking about this now. He comes in here and hears us talking about it…I just don’t think it’d be good.”

 

Jensen walked into the kitchen, just from a shower, too. “It’s alright, she always wants me to kiss and tell,” he said pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Don’t cha?”

 

Jared smiled and turned around. He grinned like a lovesick teenager and leaned forward. “Hey,” he said quietly.

 

“Hey,” Jensen answered shyly. Jared placed his finger under Jensen’s chin, lifting his head, and kissed him, his tongue pressing gently against his lips. Jensen opened his mouth to him, the kiss only lasting a few moments.

 

When they pulled apart, Mackenzie was staring right at them with a huge grin on her face.

 

“What?” Jensen asked haughtily. 

 

“You two are soooooo cute!”

 

Jared laughed, and Jensen blushed scarlett.

 

“Y’all hungry? I can make you something to eat.”

 

“I’m starving!” Jensen said. “I swear, I could eat a horse!”

 

Jared leaned against his chest and pressed his lips against Jensen’s ear. “I’ll feed ya…anytime you feel like ‘horse’.” 

 

Jensen pulled back, eyebrows raised. “Think a bit much of yourself, don’t ya?”

 

~

 

Jensen was sitting in his apartment, dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. He was staring blankly into the empty room. He and Jared had been spending a lot of time with each other, and had shared more intimate moments together in the last two weeks. Jensen was starting to feel things deeper than just sexual attraction and lust – and he was freaked the hell out by it.

 

His front door opened, and his Mother came in. “Baby?” she said quietly as the door clicked shut. “What’s wrong?”

 

Donna sat down beside him sideways. Jensen turned his head and looked at her. 

 

“They’re back,” he whispered. “The nightmares…I can’t sleep – I can’t function…the dreams have always been me and Kyle, they’re not anymore. I hurt him Mom, I beat – “ Jensen sucked in a deep shaky breath and sighed out. “I just, I can’t do this Mom. I can’t.”

 

“I thought that things were going so well with you and Jared?” she said, threading her fingers back through his hair.

 

“It was – it is. I really like him Mom…so much - but, these dreams – they’re so real.”

 

“Oh sweetheart,” she said enveloping him into her arms. “They’re dreams, they’re not real. You know that you are not Kyle. You are not an abusive person, Jensen. You defended yourself in that relationship. You can’t live like this baby, you have to trust yourself to love again.”

 

“I really like him Mama, I really do. But what if – “

 

Donna pushed him to sit up. “Jensen, life is nothing but what if’s. What if you wouldn’t have ever fought back and defended yourself? Huh? Do you ever think about that? He could have killed you. What if I hadn’t taken that step and married your father because I was afraid of getting married at such a young age? I wouldn’t have three fantastic children! What if Mackenzie hadn’t ever gone to college like she threatened? She wouldn’t have met David, gotten married and have a baby on the way. You have to forgive yourself for what happened, you have to forgive Kyle. Or you’ll never move on.”

 

Jensen stared at her. In the last three years of his life, he’d blamed himself, blamed Kyle – hated Kyle even though he’d loved him with all his heart once upon a time…but he never thought about forgiving him. Not once.

 

Jensen took a deep breath. “I – uh, I broke up with him.”

 

“Oh Jensen…baby, why did you do that?”

 

“I’ve went to call him three times, and put the phone back down. I don’t want to give up on this Mama, but what if it’s too late?”

 

“I don’t think so sweetie. From what your sister has told me, Jared is head over heels for you. And I think,” she said cupping the side of his face, “that he’s not the only one.”

 

Jensen snorted. “Yeah, I’m pretty gone on him.”

 

“Well, you’ve been seeing this boy for a few weeks now, don’t you think it’s time that I met him? That you bring him ‘round the house for your parent's approval?” she smiled.

 

“I will, and thanks for coming over here in the middle of the night. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

 

“I don’t care what time it is, you need me, you call me – ok?” 

 

Jensen nodded and kissed her cheek. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too, now – let me make you some warm milk,” she said standing up.

 

Jensen snorted again.

 

“What? It always helped when you were a little boy and couldn’t sleep.”

 

“I’m not exactly a little boy anymore.”

 

“You are to me,” she winked as she headed to the kitchen.

 

Jensen picked up his cell and dialed Jared’s number. He knew that it was late, but he just didn’t want to wait till morning.

 

~

 

Jared’s cell vibrated on the table beside him. He picked it up and looked at the caller ID. He scoffed and threw the phone across the room, it smashing against the wall. He tipped back the bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand and chugged the contents back.

 

Jared’s door opened and Chad walked in. “Jay-red? Where in the HELL is your drunk ass at? You better not be passed out man, not after drunk dialing me at 3am!”

 

Chad came into the living room and found Jared sprawled on the sofa, head back, Jack bottle in his hand. “He lef’ me Shad…Jensen lef’ me.”

 

Chad looked at his friend and sat down beside him and took the bottle from his hands. “He say why?” he asked as he tipped the bottle back acting like he took a drink just so that he could get the bottle away from Jared without a fight.

 

“Said can’t do it man, don’ trus' himself.”

 

Chad set the bottle down, scooting it under the edge of the endtable and looked across the room at the smashed phone. “I take it you threw the phone after he told you he didn’t wanna see you anymore?”

 

“Nope – he called a minute ago.”

 

Chad smacked him upside his head. “Why didn’t you answer it? He might have been calling you to say that he wanted you to take him back, dumbass!”

 

Just then, Jared’s house phone rang. Chad reached across Jared and answered it. “Yeah?”

 

“Who’s this?”

 

“Chad, this Jensen?”

 

“Yeah,” Jensen said cautiously.

 

“No worries dude, I don’t do ass – he’s my best friend. I have to say if you were near me, I’d wanna kick your ass right at the moment. My boy here is broken, man!”

 

“Can I talk to him?”

 

“You can try, he’s pretty fucked up. Drank almost a whole bottle of Jack.”

 

“Is he ok?” Jensen asked concerned.

 

“Close to passing out man.”

 

“I’ll be there in ten minutes to take care of him.”

 

Chad only snorted and hung up the phone. Jared was waving his hands around. “What?” Chad asked.

 

“Puke…gonna puke!” Jared gagged.

 

Chad pulled him up to his feet and pulled his arm around his neck and hauled him to the bathroom. Jared got to his knees just in time as he began to hurl the contents of his stomach.

 

~*~

 

Jared opened his eyes cautiously and groaned; then groaned louder at the sound of the groan echoing in his head. “Oh God,” he whispered.

 

He made to move and groaned again, his stomach feeling sick and sour. His bedroom door opened. “Hey,” Jensen whispered, “you ok?”

 

Jared sat up quickly and focused on Jensen lingering in the doorway. “Jen? What…why’re you here?”

 

“I called you last night and Chad said you were really drunk,” he said coming into the room, “so I came here to take care of you.”

 

Jared pulled the covers back and got out of bed. “Why’d you do that?” he asked as he walked into the bathroom. Jensen took a seat on the bed while Jared emptied his bladder, washed his hands, and brushed his teeth. 

 

He came back into the bedroom, towel in hand patting off his face. Jared threw the towel on the floor. “What do you want Jensen?”

 

“You.”

 

“Could have fooled me.”

 

“I’m sorry that I broke it off with you, Jared. I’d like to explain if you’ll let me.”

 

Jared folded his arms and raised his eyebrows. “Go ahead.”

 

 

“When all then things happened back then, I blamed myself for Kyle's death. I blamed myself for fighting back. I’ve already told you about the things that I’ve gone through, the depression, medications, all that. Well, I had nightmares. Night terrors, Jared – you can’t understand what it was like. The dreams were so vivid, so real. I’d dream that I pulled the trigger, that I actually killed him. I’d dream about the fights, and when someone would try and wake me, I would lash out. I broke my father's nose twice in six months. I blacked my Mother’s eye once. I lunged off the bed and choked Mackenzie once. It was horrible. So I quit sleeping – which made all the other problems worse. When I tell you that it took a lot for me to pull my shit together, you have no idea how deeply all of that shit really affected me. And so, here I am, in a relationship that makes me happy. Something that I thought that I couldn’t ever have. And what happens? The fucking dreams start again. But this time, they’re not Kyle – they’re you.”

 

Jared walked over to his side and sat down. “But why are you pushing me away. They’re dreams, Jensen. Dreams.”

 

“I know that. I mentally know that, Jared, but it scares the hell out of me. I keep dreaming that we get physical and I hurt you…bad.”

 

“That’s not gonna happen. I don’t believe it for a minute. You’ve got to stop letting someone from the grave run your life. He’s gone, you’re a different person now. You have to let it go, man, or you’ll be like this forever.”

 

Jensen snorted. “You should be dating my Mom.”

 

Jared furrowed his brow. “Huh?”

 

“Nothing, never mind,” he laughed, “I – uh, I do have a favor to ask you. If you’ll do it for me.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Come with me today, to Kyle’s grave. I’ve never been – and I think it’s time.”

 

tbc...


	7. Chapter 7

Jared pulled his jeep up to the edge of the cemetery area where Jensen had told him Kyle was buried. Jensen was staring out the window.

 

“Are you sure that you want to do this?” Jared asked, reaching down and squeezing his hand.

 

Jensen looked over at him. “Yeah, I have to. Will you come with me?”

 

“Of course,” Jared said cupping his cheek, leaning in and kissing him. “Of course I will.”

 

They got out of the car and headed in the general direction of his grave, looking at the headstones. Jared was a few feet away from Jensen when he spotted it. “Jensen, he’s here.”

 

Jensen took a short breath and walked over to the gravesite. He sat down just to the right of his plot. Jared automatically sat down beside him and reached over and took his hand.

 

“Hi Kyle…” Jensen said as his tears started to fall. “I’m sorry that I haven’t come until now. I just…I couldn’t, you know?” Jared gave his hand a squeeze to let him know that it was ok, that he was there to support him and help him in anyway that he could.

 

“I’ve been so angry with you for so long for the things that you did to me, mad at myself for the things that I did to you. And then when I left you there that day and you killed yourself – God Kyle, how could you do that? Don’t you know how fucking selfish that was?” Jensen was close to sobbing, but still talking. “You did that – you fucking shot yourself because I broke it off with you – and you leave me here to deal with the fallout, like I was the only one to blame in the relationship. Do you know what that did to me? How you managed to ruin my life for so long? Even from the fucking grave?”

 

Jared scooted over behind Jensen and stretched his legs out and around his body. He wrapped his arms around him and pulled his back against his chest, he kissed him gently on the side of his neck. “You’re doing good baby, keep telling him how you feel.”

 

“Part of me hated you, part of me still does – you selfish fucking…” Jensen stopped talking and scrubbed his hands across his face, wiping away his tears. “I’ve come here to tell you goodbye, that I can’t live my life regretting what happened. I’m trying to forgive myself for the things that I did when we were together, but I can’t do that until I forgive you. That’s why I’m here. I’m letting go Kyle, of you. Of what you did to me. It’s not going to ruin me any longer. I’m sorry that we became what we did, because I loved you. I did. But that was my past. Jared is my future, but I’m never gonna have a future with him unless I move forward. Let all this go. It’s not just going to magically be gone, I know that…but this is a start.”

 

Jared tightened his hold around him. “I’m so proud of you.”

 

“I’m sorry Kyle, for all the fights where I hit you back, I’m sorry for all the violence that our lives turned to. I’m sorry that I hurt you, I’m sorry that my leaving drove you to…” Jensen’s breath hitched and he swallowed, “to kill yourself. But I forgive you for all of it, all of the things that you did to me, and I hope where ever you are that you can forgive me, too.”

 

They sat there, Jensen leaning against Jared’s body in silence, with nothing but the wind blowing through the trees and the birds singing their songs.

 

 

~*~

 

Three months later

 

 

They’d had their share of issues in the three months following Jensen and Jared’s visit to Kyle’s grave. Jensen, on more than one occasion, had tried to put the brakes on their relationship, but Jared wouldn’t have it.

 

They’d even gotten into a nasty argument one night, where they’d gotten in each other’s faces – but Jensen backed down and left. Jensen had been frightened when they got into it, but was also glad that he maintained control and didn't lash out violently. The thought never even entered his mind. 

 

Three hours later, Jared had tracked him down at his parents house and they’d argued some more in Jensen’s father's study, then talked it out and ended up making love across his desk.

 

They never spent a night alone. One was always at the other's house. Jensen’s parents loved Jared and wanted Jensen to “marry that boy so he doesn’t get away”, and voiced that sentiment on several occasions. Of course, Mackenzie was happier than hell that, yet again, her matchmaking skills paid off. She was getting closer and closer to her due date, and Jensen just couldn’t wait to become an uncle. He was counting down the days along with his mother. Jared swore up and down that this was going to be the most spoiled baby ever born.

 

~*~

 

Jensen was startled awake by a nose bumping against his crotch. He wouldn’t necessarily mind being woken up like that if the nose doing the bumping was followed by the scruff of someone’s morning stubble and the hot wet heat of his mouth…but this was a cold nose, followed by the drop of a leash on his stomach.

 

“Uhhhhh – I swear to God you’ve trained them to wake me up and not you when I sleep over here,” Jensen said as he poked Jared in the ribs.

 

Jared chuckled. “Have I been found out?” he asked as he turned over on his side to see Sadie standing with her front paws on the bed, tail wagging. Jensen reached up and scratched her head.

 

He got up, pulled on his pants and latched the leash to her collar and headed to the door. Jared heard Jensen yell for Harley three times, then he said, “Your lazy ass dog won’t come to me, so when he has to piss – you’re taking him out!”

 

~

 

Twenty minutes later, Jensen was crawling back in bed and stretching out on top of Jared. He started kissing him across his face, lingering on the mole on his cheek. “You know, I think that I’m going to start naming them,” he said kissing it. “This one’s Herbert.”

 

Jared started laughing. “You gonna kiss the one on my ass, too?”

 

Before he knew what was happening, Jensen flipped him over and was tugging on his underwear, pulling them down his thighs. 

 

Both boys had had a long hard day on their feet at their jobs that day, so when they actually mustered up enough energy to get off of the sofa after Jensen got to Jared’s house, they’d fallen into bed and went almost immediately asleep.

 

Jensen got Jared’s underwear off and then removed his own, placing himself on his knees between Jared’s spread legs. He kneaded his ass a moment and then circled his finger around the small mole just at the top of his crack on the right side. “I think that this one should be named Jensen, since it's mine, and nobody else is ever gonna see it again but me.”

 

“Oh, yeah?”

 

“Yeah. You’re stuck with me, like it or not,” Jensen said, leaning down and sucking on the little darkened spot.

 

“I’m glad. I don’t want anyone else.”

 

Jensen laid down on top of him. He kissed the skin just behind Jared’s ear. “I…” Jensen stopped a moment and took a deep breath. “I love you,” he whispered. “So much.”

 

“Lift up,” Jared told him. Jensen went to his hands and knees, but still lingering over top of Jared’s body as he turned over onto his back. “Ok, lay back down.” 

 

Jensen laid down on top of him. He caressed the side of Jared’s face, leaned down and kissed him again, hoping that the love he was feeling would seep into Jared’s soul.

 

When they broke, Jared said, “I love you, too.”

 

“Thank you, for not giving up on me. You’ve given me back something that I thought I’d never have again. Something that I didn’t think I deserved.”

 

“What’s that?” Jared smiled.

 

“Love.”

 

Jared rolled them so that he was on top. “You were worth it,” he said quietly – his lips against Jensen’s chest. “Sooooo worth it.”

 

Jared licked and sucked on his nipples until Jensen was thrusting up against his body, demanding friction and attention to his stiff member. He placed his hands on Jared’s shoulders and pushed him down. Jared chuckled. Once Jensen became comfortable in their relationship, Jared found out that he was quite the demanding lover.

 

He didn’t hesitate asking or telling Jared what he wanted. Jared loved it. He also loved the fact that he was a loud lover. He wanted to know that the things he did to Jensen were enjoyed, and the louder he moaned, groaned and shouted, the harder Jared worked to make him even louder.

 

“Jared…down, go down.”

 

Jared lingered, placing long kisses down his body, stopping to tongue his belly button, groin and the inside of his thigh. When he took Jensen in his mouth, he was rock hard and leaking. Jensen spread his legs further apart.

 

"In me...need to feel - " Jensen moaned. Jared pulled off of his cock and opened the bedside table and pulled out the lube, then slicked his fingers. He slid one inside Jensen's quivering hole as he sucked his cock to the base. 

 

"Yeah...oh God YEAH!" he groaned.

 

Jared sucked him fast and hard and fingerfucked him quickly. He added another finger not too long after the first. He let Jensen's cock fall from his mouth and twisted his fingers around and pistoned them furiously in and out of Jensen's ass, reveling in the fact that Jensen kept pushing down on his hand trying to get Jared's fingers deeper inside of him.

 

"K...enough," Jensen gasped, sitting up slightly and grasping Jared's wrist and pulling his hand away. Jensen pushed him onto his back and straddled his body. He pumped Jared's dick several times making sure that he was perfectly hard and at full mast. He opened the bottle of lube and positioned it at the top of Jared's erection, pouring the liquid down his stiff shaft.

 

Jensen held Jared's dick and lowered himself slowly, inching down until he was seated across Jared's lap. "So full, so deep," Jensen moaned as he rocked slowly, letting his body stretch and accept the intrusion.

 

Jared reached out and grabbed onto Jensen's waist. 

 

"No," he said, taking Jared by the wrists and stretching his arms over his head. "Hold on here," he said leaning down and placing Jared's hands on the headboard. 

 

Jensen started to rise up and down on Jared's thick cock, his hands resting on either side of Jared's head, their mouths only inches apart. Jared lifted his head and latched their mouths together, kissing him. He slid his hand around the back of Jensen's head bringing their mouths tighter together.

 

Jared pulled away from the kiss, his head thrashing to the side. "Chri...oh God Jen! Hmmmm, hmmm. So good! Need to..." Jared groaned, trying to sit up and switch their positions. 

 

Jensen placed his hands on Jared's shoulders and pushed him back on the bed, putting his hands back on the headboard. "Nu-uh, gonna ride you baby - " Jensen said breathlessly as he continued rocking on top of him.

 

Their bodies thrashed together, Jared lifting his hips and slamming into Jensen's wet heat as he lowered himself, the smack-smack sound of their slick skin mixing with moans of pleasure.

 

Jensen sat up, leaning his hands back on the top of Jared's thighs and continued to ride him. Jared lifted his head and watched his dick slide in and out of Jensen's ass.

 

"Oh fuck that's hot..." he moaned letting go of the headboard and wrapping his hand around Jensen's erection.

 

He started pumping him furiously as his own body started to shake and rocket toward release. Jensen’s body stilled as he spilled over Jared’s fist, coating his chest in thick, ropey strands of come.

 

Jared held on to his waist and twisted their bodies around, getting Jensen flat on his back and he started fucking him deep.

 

“Harder,” Jensen moaned as his cock continued to spurt between their bodies.

 

Jared slammed hard into him one, two more times and came long and hard, empting his load deep inside Jensen’s body, then he went limp against him, his breath labored and shallow.

 

Jensen slid his hand up Jared's sweat soaked back. “You ok?”

 

“Yeah. You?”

 

“I’m good baby,” Jensen smiled, rolling them to their sides, pulling Jared’s softened cock from his ass. Jared turned onto his back and Jensen snuggled close, his head coming to rest on Jared’s chest. 

 

They laid there, contented, and sated – listening to each other’s breathing slow and even out.

 

“That’s something that I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of,” Jensen said into the silence.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Making love to you,” he smiled.

 

Jared tightened his hold around him. “Jen…I uh, I wanna ask you something. And I don’t want you to feel like you have to say yes, ok? I promise that I won’t be hurt or mad if you don’t want to.”

 

“What?”

 

“I think that we should move in together. I mean, I’m always at your apartment, or you’re at mine – and I think that it’s stupid for you to pay rent, especially when I own this building and don’t have to pay anything but upkeep on it. And I don’t really wanna move to your apartment since my salon is downstairs and…mftphhh –“

 

Jensen had grabbed Jared’s face and kissed him. When they broke, Jensen was smiling at him. “Do you ever shut up?” he laughed.

 

Jared’s face broke into a wide grin. “You like the idea?”

 

Jensen nodded. “I love it, and I would love to move in here.”

 

Jared rolled over on top of him. “So,” he said – a wicked glint on his face, “since you said that you’d never get tired of making love with me, whaddya say to a good long round two? Only this time – I’m doing the riding!”

 

From the look on Jensen’s face, he liked the idea. A lot.

 

tbc…


	8. Chapter 8

Mackenzie knocked on the front door, her precious two month old baby boy in her arms. Jared pulled it open.

 

“Hey,” he smiled, moving to the side. “Running late?”

 

“Of course,” she groaned. “He was hungry, so I had to feed him before we left, then David couldn’t find the car keys – “ she sighed. “I’m beginning to think that we should just stay home!”

 

“Gimme,” Jensen said holding out his arms for his nephew. “Hey Cas,” he smiled down at him, and then kissed his cheek. “I love you,” he whispered.

 

“Jen, call him Casper.”

 

“Mac, my name is not Jen! So get over it. I’ll give him a nickname if I wanna, so bite me,” he said, his eyebrows raised.

 

Mackenzie sighed, accepting defeat…because she knew that Jensen was right – everyone would end up calling him ‘Cas’ eventually. “You two sure you’re up to the whole weekend with him?” 

 

“Yeah, we’ll be fine,” Jared said. “We’ve been looking forward to spending the time with him.”

 

“I know, it’s just…” she said longingly. “I’m just...I’m – “ she sighed. “I don’t know if I can leave him.”

 

“Mac – you and David really need this little get away. He’ll be fine, you know that!” Jensen said, rubbing her back.

 

“I know he will, I’m just gonna miss him, ya know?”

 

“I know that you will, but look at it from this point of view: if you get there and you can’t take it, you can always come home early.”

 

“Yeah, I know,” she smiled.

 

There was another knock at the door and then David pushed it open. 

 

“Babe, you changing your mind?” he asked.

 

“NO,” Jensen said firmly. “She’s coming!” he insisted as he pushed her toward her husband.

 

With a quick kiss to Casper’s forehead, and one to Jensen's and Jared’s cheeks each, they were on their way.

 

~

 

“Jen,” Jared said, nudging him in the side. “Your turn – “ he said, pointing toward the door and the crying baby in the next bedroom.

 

Jensen pulled back the covers and trudged over to the room. He picked up the baby and felt his bottom – yep – a dirty diaper. He sat down on the floor, spreading out the changing mat and pulled the diaper bag toward him.

 

“Cas buddy, you gotta give Uncle Jensen a break! Mommy said you have been sleeping through the night, but this makes three times you’ve woken up!” he said sweetly, opening the diaper.

 

“Whew!” he said scrunching up his nose. “Whoa, that’s stinky!”

 

Jensen cleaned him up, put a fresh diaper on him and snapped up his jammies, then stood. He cradled Casper in his arms and rocked his body from side to side, humming.

 

Jared walked inside the room and up behind him. He snaked his arms around his waist and rested his head on Jensen’s shoulder. 

 

“You look good with a baby,” he said quietly as he kissed the side of his neck. “You ever think about having any?”

 

Jensen chuckled. “You trying to tell me you're pregnant?”

 

“Funny!” Jared said, poking his fingers into Jensen’s sides. “I just mean, you know – kids one day. What do you think of that?”

 

“It’d be ok – but you know, I don’t think that I’m ready for kids right now.”

 

“No, me neither. I just mean some day. I think that we still need to be together -- just us -- for a few years. But eventually.”

 

“Yeah,” Jensen said turning his head to look up at Jared, “sounds like a plan,” he said, then pressed their mouths together.

 

Casper gave a weak cry. They pulled apart and Jensen looked down at the little bundle. “You like that, huh? You like the idea of having a cousin?”

 

~*~

 

Roughly two and a half years later

 

 

“Unk Jen!!” an almost three year old Casper shouted as he ran into the living room. 

 

 

”What’s up?”

 

“Jarwed is sitting on the counter!”

 

Jensen laughed. Casper looked at Jared more as a kid -- a playmate -- since they got down on the floor and played like maniacs anytime he was at their house. He didn’t see him as an authority figure at all.

 

“Jared, get off the counter, young man!” Jensen shouted.

 

“Haha,” Jared laughed as he came into the room. “You snitching on me?” he asked Casper as he picked him up and held him upside down. Casper responded with a loud laugh.

 

The front door opened and Mackenzie came in. “Mama!!” he laughed as Jared held him by the ankles and shook him slightly.

 

“You snitching on me? Huh? Huh?”

 

“Ma-mama!” he laughed harder. “Jarwed is bad!”

 

Jared put him down and got to the floor and pulled up the boy's little t-shirt, pressing his mouth to Casper’s belly and giving him a long raspberry. 

 

“Fuck!” Casper shouted as he pushed at Jared’s head.

 

Mackenzie gasped. “Did he just???” she said.

 

“Yeah,” Jensen said, trying not to laugh. “Kenz – I swear that neither of us said that today!”

 

“CASPER!” she scolded. “You don’t say those ugly words!”

 

Casper got to his feet and shrugged. “I didn’t say it!” 

 

“Casper…” she said warningly.

 

“Casper not say it! Not Mama’s pwecious!” 

 

Jared lost it; he busted out laughing, hard and loud. Jensen joined in. Mackenzie was frustrated – but there was a smile playing on her lips.

 

“You ready?” she asked her son, deciding that if she made a bigger deal out of it, he’d just continue to say it.

 

“No,” he said shaking his head. “I stay here tonight.”

 

“No, you've got to come home now.”

 

“No, s’ok – I stay here wif Unk Jen and Jarwed.”

 

“Jen?” she asked, looking over at her brother.

 

“Fine by me…Jay?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Alright, I’ll be back tomorrow around noon, then.”

 

They all said their goodbyes and then Jensen and Jared got down on the floor with Casper and started playing with his toy cars.

 

“Hey,” Jared said, lifting Jensen’s chin with his index finger.

 

“Huh?”

 

“I love you,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss him.

 

“I love you, too,” Jensen answered when they pulled apart.

 

Jared grinned as he was thinking about bringing up the idea of children to Jensen again...after all life was good!!

 

 

~end


End file.
